Clueless Beginnings
by A-BondofFlame-R
Summary: They left out a lot of the beginning. This is the real explanation for anyone who ever wondered why Riku really went to the darkness, why Sora really left to find him, why Kairi was even in the story at all. It's all up to Sora to fix things in time. R/S


**I wrote this while listening to No Air. Hehe, I'm so lame. xD**

Somehow, I'm still here. I'm still here without you. You might've forgotten, but I've always been here.

I think everyone's forgotten me. I've always been the third wheel in our trio, and even before we were a trio I was the shy, quiet one. I faded into the background.

Then, when _she_ came, that sealed the deal. You kept distancing myself from me, so far until _I _was the odd third one. Everyone was always so curious about her, the mysterious girl that appeared from no where and couldn't recall anything. I said that since she came, I figured there had to be more worlds out there and I wanted to see them. I lied straight through my teeth, like you used to be able to point out, because I really just wanted her to go back home. To leave us the way we were.

You always wondered why I sought a way to get off this island. Do you really want to know why? She's here. And there's strict laws against gay marriage here. They allow us to be openly gay, but we have no marriage rights here. Oh, I forgot to mention it earlier. But you were so occupied with her, I didn't have the heart to try and pour my heart and soul out just to be interrupted by her girlish reaches for your attention.

I know you're thick, bud, but still. I thought that maybe you would've noticed. You're confused as you're reading this, I know. And therefore you didn't notice. It's too bad.

Because, I love you. It's so hard for me whenever she wakes you up early to 'go on a special adventure, just the two of us!' and you leave me to wake up alone. I don't know how, but even though you always upset me, you can just take my breath away by being in the same room.

One thing I do know you've taken note of, my recent instability. I'm sorry for it, but I don't know how to be fine when I'm not. I'm not fine because I don't know how to make a feeling stop.

I always tried to drop subtle hints, throw suggestive jokes at you so I could gauge a reaction. Maybe a disgusted face, or a 'Ewwww, no way dude!' would've put me at ease. I'd have considered it a rejection, and I'd have had a better chance of moving on.

But no, the only thing I got was a laugh from you at that girl's disgusted face. It was never really an answer.

And then, it came. The only reasonable theory I have for it coming is that it came for me. Like somehow it knew.

I knew it would come, two days before it came. I felt it in my heart, I saw how everything would play out in my dreams, and it terrified me. But you wouldn't listen, you just blew me off, and so you weren't prepared. You weren't prepared for today, were you?

Since you're reading this, I'll tell you what happened. I went to the darkness. I asked, pleaded, _begged_ you to take my hand and come with me. Out in the water, the huge wave enveloped me and you washed away. I remained in the same spot. Why? i don't know. But you didn't come with me, and that's all that really matters.

I went to the darkness hoping, that maybe, you would still care. That maybe, you'd stop me because you think the darkness is a bad thing. I'll tell you though, it's not actually all that awful. It's just how you use it. I've been acquainted with the darkness before. Every time I was alone, the darkness held me. It wiped away my tears, instead of you.

So since you're reading this, I'm gone. Yes, I've turned to the darkness. I'm going to because it's reckless enough to get me killed. Dead. Out of existence, it doesn't matter. I'll be gone soon.

I actually doubt that though, because just you watch, that stupid girl will have found a way to get swept up into the darkness and in a quest to find her, you'll stumble upon me. But your search wouldn't have been for me, oh no. Just for her. Don't worry, I get it.

Admittedly, I probably could have gotten over you. But it would have been the longest, hardest process of my entire life, and at fifteen I expect it would have taken me until I was age fifty five. It would have been to painful for me to endure, to sit idly by as you woo her and coddle her spoiled personality.

So, unless you actually do find me before some 'tragic' fate befalls me, this is goodbye. I wanted to tell you I loved you so many times, to just kiss your sun tanned face. I wanted to hold you in my arms when the thunder scared you, even though you wouldn't admit it. There were so many things I wanted to do, but...

Goodbye Sora. Good luck with your quest for Kairi. I love you.

-Riku

A lone boy sat on the paopu tree that day. His amber brown spikes were swaying in the wind, but he couldn't find it in himself to enjoy the day. His best friend was gone, and it'd been all his fault. All those 'adventures' he went on with Kairi were to just separate himself from Riku so he could control his raging affections.

A crystalline tear drop streaked down his bronze cheeks.

"If only Riku knew I was avoiding him for the same reason he left..."

The boy stood up on the outstretched branch, one hand clenched over his heart, the other wrapped around the hilt of a Keyblade at his side. The metal glinted in the fading twilight, as did his water filled eyes and the drops on his face. He whispered to the wind in a strong, yet soft voice as he raised his weapon. A beam of light started to charge up as he pointed it up toward the heavens.

"I'm going to find you, Riku. I'm going to fix you, I'm going to fix us."

And so began the story of legend.


End file.
